Housework – the Never Ending Job

How much time do you spend a week on housework? If you have a domestic helper, how many hours a day does she spend keeping the house?

I hire a cleaner who comes by for a few hours once a week, who helps to wash the bathrooms, clean the floor & windows, iron the clothes, etc. She gives me a few hours off housework a week, allowing me to either take the kids out, or spend the day relaxing and not think about doing any kind of housekeeping.

However, my husband who is quite particular about the cleanliness of the house has recently criticized that she may not be doing a very good job after all (at least not up to his expectations). On some weeks the house can require quite a bit of cleaning if I’m just too busy with other stuff – kids, work, errands, illness etc.

My first reaction is typically, “If you think it’s so easy to get done, just do it yourself!”

I don’t require my husband to share much of the housework with me, but sometimes I do wish he could help make things better by doing the tiny things such as cleaning the dining table after he’s done and emptying his own wastepaper basket if it’s full. There’s some things I feel that he can do it without much effort, rather than to wait for me to notice it and get it done.

On a brighter side, he does offer to do the laundry on some days, and grumbles (his way of showing concern towards me) whenever he sees me carrying heavy items before lending a hand.

There seems to be so much to do everyday, that it seems never-ending!

I'm never wearing make-up while doing housework, nor is my hair ever that neat.

However, doing housework can be a good form of exercise and for me therapeutic. I feel good after cleaning up, proud that I’ve made the house a much cleaner place. I think my favorite housework,if any, would be cleaning the floor & doing the dishes. My least favorite would be the bathrooms and ironing. HATE to iron.

How do you find enjoyment in housework? What’s your least favorite and favorite?

 

Day 4 of Workout Program

It is day 4 of my workout program. Very intensive workout but glad I really pushed myself. Managed to get the heart rate all the way up to 180!

Am trying to resist weighing myself on the scales. Will only do so after I complete this program which will be in another 2 weeks!

When the bug comes around, it goes around

My husband fell sick about a week ago, with a runny nose and a sore throat. He recovered from it over a few days and over the weekend, I caught it. Coupled it with 1 night of sleep deprivation and I had a terrible sore throat. I’m okay now, but the kids seem to have taken the hit. Lorraine started off with a cough, and now she has a cough, blocked nose and loads of phlegm. She doesn’t like to sleep on her tummy, as I thought putting her that way would help with the nasal block. So she has been spending the nights sleeping elevated on her swing bed.

Lucas being the fussy baby he is, it’s kind of hard to tell if he felt unwell too, until tonight when I was quite sure he had mucus leaking out. Needless to say the fussy factor has doubled.

The big girl, Laura, also has a leaky nose, but she appears to be the least affected by it.

When one has the flu bug, it’s really hard to prevent the rest from catching it. What we can do though is to strengthen the immune system so that it wouldn’t hit us so badly. With that in mind, I seriously need to remind myself to religiously take the health products given by my MIL.

That's me with 1 sick baby. Now imagine 3 babies but 1 me.

Crying It Out needs a new adaptation

Sleep is like #1 on my list before everything else. Without adequate sleep I fail to function. I wake up growling & howling at my husband, get impatient with my kids and refuse to do housework. If I’m well-rested I growl less at speak nicely to my husband, ignore my kids’ cries for a longer period of time handle my kids with more patience and do my housework properly. At the end of the day everyone is happier.

From this...

To this!

I honestly don’t know how some parents can survive an entire year of several night feeds, because obviously I can’t. 3 months into night feeding 2 babies and I’m ready to throw in the towel. That’s my cue to start weaning off night feeds and training them to sleep longer through the night.

With L1, I adopted the CIO, or cry it out, approach. In theory, it’s basically letting your baby cry for an infinite amount of time. During the first couple of nights he/she goes back to sleep after being exhausted from all the crying & wailing & screaming. Gradually, the period of crying shortens until finally there is none. On average it takes about a week for younger babies. They are THAT adaptable. Try it with a 2 year old toddler and it’d take weeks. The only challenge is having to fight the urge to go in and carry or nurse the baby so that you can head right back to sleep. But if you’re successful you’re back to getting a night of uninterrupted sleep.

I knew I’d do it with the twins too. The only problem though, is that they’re both loud hailers that will wake their sister up in the next room. Both rooms are next to each other but the doors are shut. L1 has always been a light sleeper, so it’s quite an issue letting the twins CIO without waking her up. But she’s better now, takes about 5 minutes of crying to wake her up, which still isn’t good enough.

So I’ve resorted to a controlled CIO method. If the crying gets too loud I’d have to step in and use other forms of comfort besides feeding. Last night I patted L2 back to sleep, which worked, but I’m certainly hoping he won’t get used to it. I’m still allowing him to self-soothe to sleep at other times, so hopefully that’s good enough. The objective is to get him to go through at least 6 hours of sleep without a feed, and eventually 10-12 hours.

As for L3, she had been sleeping through the night since 3 months old, but recently has woken up again for a couple of feeds. I am trying to keep it at 1. Letting her CIO would be a bigger problem, as she’s louder than her brother.

After 5 months of night-time sleep being interrupted every 2-3 hours, I am sooooo ready to get back my quality sleep!

ZZzzzzzzz…

A Father’s Role

I recently shared a discussion with a few mummy friends regarding the man’s role in the family. It seems that most of our husbands have a mentality that the man’s role is to just bring home the bread. Other things such as housework & care-taking of the children are the woman’s job. This belief is even more evident when we are SAHMs (stay at home home moms). The belief it that since we spend most our time at home, if not the whole day, we’d have ample time to complete household chores like cleaning & cooking on top of looking after the children. Therefore the man is not expected to help out with such duties because he’s been out the whole day working hard for the family.

I do believe that the primary roles of the husband (father) & wife (SAHM) is to bring home the dough and to manage the household respectively. It would seem unfair for the man to be expected to share some household chores, especially since the lady isn’t expected to contribute to the income as well. Being a mom, or even a father is a 24 hour job. It never stops. Personally I feel that it’s fine with me that I take 100% responsibility of household chores.

Here’s the tricky part though. When he is home & say, I need to get some cooking or cleaning done, he is expected to help keep an eye on the kids. Yeah, I know you’re tired and all because you’ve been out working the entire day, but it doesn’t mean you don’t even need to fulfill your role as a father.

If I’m working as well, then I’d be juggling both the household & a job. How does it seem fair then, huh? Perhaps then the man would also have to share the household chores as well. But I’m not in a position to comment much since I’ve been a SAHM since #1 was born.

By the way I am saying all these without bringing in the idea of hired help, like a domestic helper. I feel that one should not hire a helper to escape from household responsibilities.

I would say my expectations towards my husband is considered quite minimal compared to fellow SAHMs. He isn’t expected to shower the kids (only offered to do so after I was pregnant with the twins & my tummy was in the way) & occasionally helps out with diaper changes. Milk not really since I am still breastfeeding the twins, but he did help with feedings when my #1 was on FM.

But that doesn’t mean he isn’t doing his part as a father, nor do I feel he misses out on any “bonding” time with them doing these tasks. In fact, I’d love him to just hang out with the kids in the living room & fill the house with their laughter while I get dinner ready. Perfect.

I know sometimes I get really frustrated & rant, but overall I think he’s doing a decent job fulfilling his role as their father. I’m just wondering if all Singaporean married men with children feel this way – that their jobs ends at bringing home the money?

If you’re a daddy, do you share household chores equally? Where do you draw the line?

I am no Superwoman

Thank GOD my house doesn't look like this everyday.

In case you haven’t already know, my eldest girl is 2 years old & my twins are about 5 months old now. We don’t have a maid because I don’t like the idea of having a stranger around the house. My eldest goes to the child care on weekdays, so that I can focus on the twins who now need a lot of attention.

On weekends sometimes hubby goes out for appointments, on others he’s around to help out. My MIL comes by weekly for a few hours to spend time with her grandchildren, while my parents try to have my eldest at their place overnight weekly too. Occasionally we get a movie day out without the kids.

I’m lucky that way to have family who can help out so that I can have a breather.

I know I’ve “bragged” about how I have 3 kids with little help, and I do invite curiousity & envy from strangers who find out I have 3 kids without a maid & get little help. Strangers often comment, “Wow how do you manage?!” “You’re so capable!”

I’m no Supermom. Really. Unless I can pack 27 hours in a day.

I should print a t shirt with this on my CHEST.

I’m very very blessed that I have people who can help. My husband doesn’t have a 9-5 job so his time is really flexible. If I fall sick or injure myself (which I am very prone to, but that’s another story) he can take a few hours off and help me out.

All these I have, it’s God’s grace. Even if I am a Supermom, it’s only possible because of Him. It’s something that I can NEVER accomplish on my own, no matter how much help I have.

Praise the Lord!

My Post-partum Workout Program

EA Sports Active 2 is available for the PS3, Wii & Xbox360

I’ve been eyeing this for quite a while now to use on my PS3, resisting the urge to buy because of its price tag of $139. I wasn’t sure if this was going to be something that I’d really stick to. I’ve seen a few games similar to this that don’t really work as real workout “games.”

So when I saw that this was going for $59 at a local game store, I grabbed it!

Still I had my reservations.

This consists of a heart rate monitor which is strapped to your left arm, and 2 other sensors that go onto the right arm & right thigh. It comes with a USB receiver which is plugged into the PS3.

I chose the 3 week workout program, which I have to do a minimum of 4 workouts per week. The very first workout lasted 20minutes consisting of 24 exercises from warm-up to cooling down. I haven’t properly exercised ever since my 1st baby so it was really a huge challenge for me.

This morning I woke up with an aching body, more so on my thighs. So I guess it really works. In order to make this a fair experiment, this means I also have to watch my diet. It gets a bit tricky though, as my calorie intake is supposed to be higher due to the fact that I’m breastfeeding.

Let’s see how this goes in a week!

Product information can be found here.

Disclaimer: I am not sponsored by them to blog about this in case you’re wondering.

Having Enough Love to Go Around

A lot of families in Singapore are contented with 1 or 2 children. Mums around my age usually have 1 child for now, whether planned or not. I came across a conversation about a young mum of 1 lamenting about how another with 3 children didn’t seem to be handling all of them very well. Her attention was focused with the youngest, a baby, leaving her 5 year old to look out for her other younger sibling, probably around 2-3 years old.

I think a lot of people will react, “What an irresponsible mum!” However, there are always 2 sides to a coin.

When I heard the conversation, I thought to myself, “if you don’t have the experience of having more than 1 child, what makes you think that you are in a position to make judgement about another mum with 3 children?“

A mother of 1 will never know what it feels like to have divided attention. All your energy & time can be devoted to that 1 child. Add another to the family and it’s a different arena.

When I was pregnant with the twins, I found that my biggest concern was how I was going to have to share the attention among my 3 children. My eldest was only 1 year old at that time & still depends on me for a lot of needs. I wasn’t into hiring a helper (but that’s another story), thus I wondered how I would be able to care for all 3 of them on my own.

My solution was to get the eldest to help me out as much as possible. Now when I have all 3 children with me alone at home, I have to engage her help. From another point of view I am also getting her involved with her siblings too.

4.5 months after the delivery of the twins, she goes to child care on weekdays so that I can devote attention to her twin siblings & free up some time to myself. Sometimes when I’m busy in the kitchen & someone cries, she has her own way of calming them down. It may just be a simple thing of clapping her hands or standing in front of them & it works! She adores them a lot & sometimes even does things to help out that I never expect her to do.

In some sense, the elder child is sort of “forced to grow up” and become slightly more independent. There are situations (& trust me, they happen A LOT) whereby I really have my hands full and can only depend on my little helper to ease the stress. Or in worse-case scenario, all 3 of them need me and there is only one of me. I have to decide who gets the priority (usually it’s the eldest) and compromise the others. It’s almost normal & I do believe that mums with many children face the same challenges as me.

Sometimes we even feel guilty for neglecting them, especially when someone falls sick, and they usually take turns to fall ill. Sometimes we just have to let go of certain things, otherwise it can be really hard to try and pay attention to everyone and get things done.

After all, there is only one mummy to them!

Infant Eczema

Those of you who were following me from the delivery of my 1st baby would remember that Lauralynn had a serious case of atopic eczema. A skin prick test revealed that it was caused by an egg allergy. I was breastfeeding her at that time, thus I had a avoid all egg products in my diet. With the help of some steroid cream, the eczema was relatively gone. When she was about 9 months old we decided to introduce some egg yolk into her diet, hoping that she would outgrow this allergy. Slowly but surely, she was indeed having less reaction to egg as she approached her 1st birthday!

This egg allergy was also of concern to the nurses at the clinic who would eventually administer her compulsory MMR (measles, mumps, rubella) vaccination at 18 months. We were told that it was cultured in chick’s embryo, thus Lauralynn was likely to develop a reaction to it. After several visits to the specialist at the local hospital, she was finally given the green light to get the jab, seeing that she has already outgrown her allergy and has had no eczema for at least the past 6 months. After she turned 1 we also fed her whole cooked eggs and were pleased that there were no adverse reactions to it!

I was worried that the twins would develop eczema as well and true enough, Lucas has gotten it. Lorraine is still safe (phew!) and I hope she’ll never ever have to deal with it. His appointment with the specialist is not until the end of the month, thus I can only do a trial & error of the possible allergens to try and guess what in my diet he’s allergic to.

In my experience, eczema started with acne-looking like spots on the face and gradually progressed to red patches on the face. Others may have it on the body, hands or legs. It can cause discomfort resulting in fussiness and the inability to sleep well. Toddlers may also scratch it. Food allergies may also cause the baby to spit up the milk if you are breastfeeding. Thus it’s important to  see a doctor if you suspect that your baby has eczema. Waiting it out may only cause it to get worse. The doctor can dispense advice on treatment and skin care, as well as provide very mild creams to control the eczema. Eczema is usually dry, thus lots of moisturizing will help. However, if you see pus or the area is wet, it could be a sign of infection.

The good news is that infant eczema can usually be outgrown, just like how Lauralynn has outgrown her egg allergy. With appropriate treatment, good skin care and vigilance, it’s a condition that can be treated.

Slow and Steady

I know I haven’t been updating much recently, been busy cleaning up stuff & preparing for the twins’ arrival among other things.

Had my 24 week OB review last Monday. Everything looks good, with the twins on track on their growth. These days I’ve been referring to this chart for my twins’ targeted weights at the various gestational ages. I do expect about 5-10% difference though, considering that these are based on Caucasian babies who are more likely to be bigger. Also, I doubt my petite Asian frame will be able to accommodate 2 babies close to 3kg EACH at week 38, considering that Lauralynn was 2.8kg at birth when I delivered her 1 day short of full term.

I’ve been worrying a lot about whether I’m putting on enough weight, whether the twins are getting enough, as well as anxious about how far I can get along this pregnancy. I’ve been reading too many experiences about pre-term labor and premature twins needing to spend weeks and months in NICU.

However, I’m still quite optimistic about hitting the 37 week mark, in which the babies should be weighing far more than 2kg. Not only will they most likely avoid NICU, they’ll also most likely be developed mature enough to graduate from the womb. Our goal is still 37 weeks, which is on 8 October.

The only way to see if they’re growing well is through my monthly OB visits, which are expected to become fortnight reviews once I’m 28 weeks pregnant next month. I’m hoping that they’ll each be at least 1 kg, which is “on track” according to the chart. Of course other things to look out for are amniotic fluid, placenta, my weight, blood pressure, etc.

So far I’ve put on about 8kg, which I think is decent since my OBGYN isn’t complaining, and since the babies are absorbing their nutrients & growing well too.

Discomforts are aplenty, since my womb is the size of a 30 week pregnancy. I’ve been having my ribs kicked and prodded, interrupted sleep at night due to the “party” going on inside and the sheer weight I’m carrying. Considering that the weight of each baby is equivalent to the weight of the placenta + water bag, this means that I am carrying at least 2-3kg of baby weight, excluding the fats and what-nots.

Less than 3 months to go!